timeandtides_backup

Entry tags:

Deja Vu

Characters: Locke and Celes
Summary: TBD
Location: Figaro Castle
Date: Later in the evening after Locke arrived
Warnings: None~

Locke waits for everybody to settle in for the night. It was too loud and noisy that evening to really talk to Celes. It had always been much easier out in the fields by the fire after everyone else had went to bed. But before talking to her, he had something he needed to do.

He disappears out of the castle for a few minutes searching for just the right combination of flowers. It's important that he picks the right ones. It takes him longer than expected as he carefully chooses the perfect spot for each one. After completing the bouquet, he can't believe how familiar it looks to him. Unbeknownst to him, he has picked an identical set as the last time. He begins retracing his steps to Celes' room and is surprised by its familiarity. His steps slow as every step closer to her door brings his memories closer to the surface.

He stands for a bit before her door, shyly hesitant to knock his cheeks flaming with that familiar tint of rouge. Finally grasping the courage to knock as he had done so frequently before, his memories begin to break loose. Visions blur before him as the bouquet droops to his side amidst the weight of these revelations.

((ooc: Might switch to action - we'll see))

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The knock is what brings Celes out of her room. She's just been thinking a lot about what's happened lately, about Balthier... and about Locke's return. Balthier's flowers have long since wilted, but the note he sent with them is still with her. The whole situation is going to be about adjustment. She's told Balthier... maybe she should have told Locke already, too.

When she hears the noise, she stands and heads for the door, opening it to see what appears to be Locke in a lot of pain. Not stopping to waste time, she lets him feel a Cura, placing her hands on his shoulders so she can see what's going on.

"Locke? What's wrong?"

Pain may have been something he was feeling, but a simple healing spell wouldn't alleviate the burden of the sudden flash of all those memories. A lesser man may have passed out from the shear weight, but one image kept Locke standing - the recognition that he had disappeared before Celes' very eyes. The irony was lost on him that he had now allowed two precious ladies the pain of seeing this sight.

Refusing to succumb to the bliss of darkness, he drew upon his inner strength. Somewhere in the momentary confusion as the memories sorted their way back into the recesses of his mind, he was able to slip two thoughts to the woman before him.

"I remember." and "I'm sorry."

He had no way of knowing her reaction, but he needed to assure the woman he knew and loved in 2 distinct worlds know that he understood the gravity of the situation and would not treat it lighthearted and in jest.

Celes doesn't let go of her hold on his shoulders, realizing that this is due to something different, something simple spells can't cure. She watches him for a few minutes, making sure he's really okay before she lets go, unsure of how to react to his four words.

He remembered? How much does he now remember?

"Locke... It's not your fault." He's probably worried about having disappeared in front of her all those months ago and how that would have affected her... at least, if he really remembers, he would be. She isn't sure what to think anymore.

"You're back and you're fine... that's important."

Locke hesitated, letting the warmth of Celes' arms return his strength and speech. Her words reached deep. It was his fault. If he had been stronger, he wouldn't have been pulled back. Tonight however, none of that mattered. It was more important to make sure Celes was ok and tend to her needs.

Turning the flowers back right side up, he stared at them, "I found these for you." He tried to fix them, but some of the stems had broken when they were mashed against his leg. Holding them out to her, he took a deep breath before speaking, "They aren't so pretty anymore."

Maybe later, things could be lighter, but he wanted her to know how serious he was. He looked right into her eyes, "But I'm glad I get to give them to you this time." Still holding on tightly to the stems lest they slip, he added "And I won't drop them again. I'll keep holding them."

Celes would never blame him for any of this. She knew how Gaia worked. She only thought she'd been a fool both times for imagining, even for just a second, that nothing would change. Gaia had proven her wrong both times.

The flowers finally capture her attention and she looks down at them, only letting go of Locke's shoulders when she's sure he won't fall over. She slowly reaches for the flowers. This time she manages to get them and she can't help but sneak a glance at him, wondering if Gaia would be so cruel as to rip him away a second time like this.

"They're lovely, Locke." Broken stems and all. "Thank you."

She has to tell him - she knows she does - but it's just so hard.

"I'm glad you're still here this time."

It's an awful attempt at a joke, but it's the thought that counts, right?

It had been a tense couple of moments for him wondering if she would accept the flowers. At their departure from his hands, he was finally able to exhale.

He wasn't happy about the broken stems, but he wasn't about to ask to replace flowers that she had already had to wait a couple months for. He'd make it up to her for sure, foraging for flowers daily to remind her of his presence.

Finally relaxed enough to smile at the lightness Celes introduced, he rubbed his bandanna "Would you rather I'd have snuck them into your room while you were out?"

He reached out towards her hand, wanting to reassure himself as well as her that he truly was here, but his limited experience caused his movements to be timid and awkward.

"No, because then I would have missed you." And that would have opened up a whole different can of worms.

Not being a touchy kind of person by nature, Celes is unused to the feeling of wanting to offer physical comfort, or being okay with receiving it in turn. Instead of giving in, she offers a very gentle, very small, smile at the touch to her hand, before she turns to go back into her room. There's an empty vase on her table, where Balthier's flowers had stood until they wilted, and she places the new ones in it now. To keep them fresh.

"You can come in, if you want," she offers, speaking to the flowers as she arranges them in the vase. This just solidifies the knowledge that she has to tell him about Balthier. Sooner rather than later. It's not fair to keep him in the dark while she sorts herself out.

Locke is not surprised by Celes' hesitancy. This was Celes after all and their relationship had never been flirtatious in nature. Rather they had bonded on a deeper level before ever experiencing a tender embrace. In fact, it hardly registered as content as he was right now.

Following Celes into her room, he grinned as she placed the flowers in the vase. "Of course I want to come in. I like being with you." There was no way he wasn't going to stay around if welcome. He leaned back against the wall, looking forward to an evening together talking and catching up.

Hesitancy, uncertainty, fear... all of it counts for what Celes is feeling right now. She gently touches one of the flowers, still facing the vase as she sorts out what she needs to say.

"Locke... I don't know how much time it's been for you since you were here, but..." She finally turns to face him, letting her arms fall back to her sides nervously. "It's been months for us."

He knows it was far too long that he was gone. He was finally ready to stick around and instead had been sent hom.

He'd love to tell her how he was able to close some chapters in his life. While Edgar had helped him to forgive himself, he had really wanted to tell Rachel Goodbye. And it was important that his responsibility to Kefka was taken care of so he could fully appreciate the life he had here on Gaia.

But right now, he didn't feel any of that. He would have happily and freely traded it all for one more smile on her face. He was so disappointed in himself for getting sent home. He was upset that he had caused her pain by his disappearance. He was jealous that the past couple of months had been stolen from them.

He tugged nervously on his bandanna as his voice lowered. "I'm sorry. I ... should have been here with you.

Celes shakes her head firmly, looking back at him then. "I don't blame you. It's not your fault, Locke. That's... that's how Gaia is. It's Garland's fault and we'll make him pay."

What is her fault, however, is getting complacent at all and allowing herself to think that things would never change. That's her problem.

"But there's something I should tell you." Oh goddesses this is hard. "I don't want you to take it the wrong way." That's a great start. "While you were gone... things happened. And I... I've been spending a lot of time with Balthier. We've become... close."

That's one way of saying it. She doesn't want to hurt him... doesn't want to hurt either of them, but she knows Terra's right: either way, one of them will get hurt and there's not much she can do about it.

Locke felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. He had fully expected her to be extremely upset, reserved, and scared, but to have been forgotten like that hit him hard.

His knees began to buckle as he wondered how he was supposed to take it. It hurt as bad as anything he had been through, but he refused to cave in to the pressure. Steeling his legs to keep from falling he took a moment to collect whatever grace he could muster.

"How ..." close he wanted to ask, but stopped himself before subjecting Celes to the uncomfortable question. He had just assumed she would be waiting with open arms for his return.

Conscious that this Balthier might come calling on her this evening, he quickly thought to ask to avoid them both potential embarrassment, "Do you want me to leave?" His voice cracked at those strange words despite his best attempts. Hidden fears surfacing, he still wanted to stay if only to ensure himself that their friendship wasn't "forgotten too. He prepared himself to receive either answer graciously so as to protect her from his pain.

The reaction written all over Locke's face is enough to make Celes hurt further and she quickly reaches over to take his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. She doesn't want him to think she's replaced or forgotten him. Balthier just happened to be there when she needed someone to lean on. Locke would forever be important to her... but she has no idea how to express that to him.

Shaking her head at his next question, she holds on. "I care about you both," she admits. "I don't... want to hurt you. I just need time. And he already knows. I told him when you showed up... how important you are to me. So he knows and he understands."

It's just a lot she has to work out for herself. The last thing she wants is to hurt them... and she's prepared to lose both of their friendships if she can only prevent them from being hurt.

"I care about you, Locke," she continues, her voice breaking slightly with the weight of her feelings. "I don't want you to think that I don't. But I just need a little time. That's all."

He cared about her very much and seeing her in such a state upset him further than his own feelings ever could. There was never anything he wouldn't give her if she needed, but he couldn't save her from this.

Their friendship had weathered many storms and hope ensured this test would also be passed. He knew he had to be strong for her, but tonight he just needed his best friend. He didn't know how to convey to her that no matter anything else he couldn't bare to lose that important piece of his life.

Feeling the gentle squeeze of her hand gave him some reassurance as his forehead lowered towards hers. "Celes. It's not your fault." He doesn't blame her for anything that happened. "I'm thankful to just find you still here."

"You won't lose me," Celes answers, knowing they've both worried about that. "Not if I can help it. I'll fight to the death to stay."

And she means that, too. With everything going on, she doesn't want to even think about the possibility that they could get sent home again. She's never experienced this disappearing home thing herself, but she's known plenty of people who have, plenty who have gone and come back. But if she has any choice in the matter, she'll stay. She doesn't want to lose what this world has given her.

As his head lowers, she reacts almost instinctively. She doesn't want to do anything intimate, but... just a simple hug will have to show him how glad she is that he's taking this well and that he's still willing to be there for her. She can't express how much this means to her any other way.

It was an unusual turn of events as Locke was enveloped in a hug from his best friend. Intimacy was the furthest thing from his mind as he drew solace from her longstanding friendship.

Locke's arms instinctively rose to reciprocate, but apprehension at being misconstrued halted their progress. He was unsure of how exactly to convey that he would still protect her as he had since Kohlinghen irregardless of any inklings of romance.

One thing was obvious to him. She would not die on his watch as he softly added, "Not by yourself you won't."

It's more that Celes wants to reassure him that nothing's really going to change. She still wants him in her life. She just needs a little time to sort out to what extent.

After a while, she pulls back and nods. "Right, because you've always got my back." And she appreciates that about him, though she has no idea how to properly express it.

He's not ready to think beyond the fact that he hasn't lost his friend, sorting out his feelings will have to come later.

As she pulled back, he was able to stand squarely on his own two feet and give her a genuine smile. Perhaps, she's better at expressing herself than she gives herself credit.

He Pulls squarely on his bandanna. "That's what friends do."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it."

And Celes does, more than she can say. Unfortunately, now that she's gotten the confession out of the way, she has no idea what to do or say. All she knows is that she needs time to figure things out and he probably needs time to work through some things, too.

"I'm... sorry, about the timing of everything."

'I'm sorry too', he wanted to add but he held back even though his eyes gave it away. She had already been through so much that he couldn't place another burden on her. He tried to be the strong treasure hunter that had rescued her all that time ago.

He attempted to hold his smile for her sake. "It's ok. How could you know?" The earring all but forgotten stayed tucked deep within his pocket as all his awkwardness around Celes returned. He couldn't tell her how much it reminded him of when they met. Maybe he'd be able to give it to her as planned, but for now it would have to stay safely hidden deep within his pocket.

He really didn't want to leave on a sad note and without thinking of the consequences blurted out, "Maybe, we could go treasure hunting sometime."

Celes is just glad to have her friend back. If nothing else, she wants him to know that he still means a great deal to her and she's happy to see him again. She shakes her head at his question. "I should have expected it from Gaia."

One hand strays to the table again and she glances at the flowers on it until he speaks up again. A smile strays across her lips as she thinks of all the times they've gone adventuring together, everything that's happened between them.

"I'd like that," she answers honestly. Just like old times.

He was cautiously optimistic that all would turn out well, but irregardless he was looking forward to some time out in the field with Celes. He hoped she would remember the joy they had felt together. For once, he didn't really care where they looked for treasure for the treasure he already knew the treasure he was searching for.

"Really? You'd really like to go?", he said with a huge grin on his face.

Celes nods. "Of course. It'd be just like old times."

She wouldn't mind at all. Maybe it'll help her sort out her feelings. Or maybe it'll make things worse, but she doesn't really care. She's missed him.

Locke is all turned around inside and out. He doesn't know how to respond which is evidenced through his trademark blush flowing into his body. He wants to re-validate their relationship as quickly as possible but his feelings for her force him to step back and respect her need for time. He already knows the painful truth that he cannot force her to remember.

"Where should we go?" he asks for a change as the location doesn't matter only the company taken. In a concerted effort to give her the space she needs, he fights against his nature leaving the question of when unanswered.

The question takes Celes a little off-guard and she shakes her head. Exploring hasn't been on her mind in a really long time. "I don't know," she admits. "Maybe we could just choose a location when we decide to go. It feels like they keep changing."

Locke was still a little behind the times with all the changes that had gone on since he left. He'd pieced enough together over the last couple days to know that things were moving quickly on Gaia.

Nodding in agreement with her, "We can decide later." He pulls down lightly on his bandanna, giving her a simple smile.

Celes nods, offering a small smile as she does so. She's at least glad that things will, hopefully, not be so awkward between them now, but she's not stupid enough to think everything's okay. She still has to piece things together and the sooner she does that, the better. For now, though, she's just glad she has her friend back.

"Thank you, Locke. I'll be looking forward to it."

Not knowing what else to do and feeling extremely awkward with the situation, he began to back away towards the exit before he did anything that embarrassed himself.

While he really did want to stay and had been prepared to talk through the night into the wee hours of the morning, he wasn't quite sure what to think at this moment. Instinct was to run, but running had never solved any of his problems.

Likewise, Celes is unsure what else to do or say, but she'll at least offer Locke another smile as her fingers trail over the flowers again. She doesn't want him to run away, but she just needs a little time to sort through herself. Maybe someday soon, she'll be able to manage words to what she's feeling.

Late was better than never. He was glad that the flowers were finally delivered as he had meant to those few months ago. Silently he left her room in a state unlike any other. As soon as the door closed, he just stood there his strength finally abandoning him.

His head drooped as he wondered where to go and what to do.

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Deja Vu

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Keywords significant

awwwww

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