A Homecoming [semi-open]

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

Characters: Squall and Rinoa. Open to anyone else who happens to be in the Garden.
Progress: On-going
Summary: Rinoa finally comes home
Location: The Garden
Date: Today

After everything was said and done, it was quite a relief to finally be heading back home. To be properly done with all of the audiences he'd had to sit through and all of the discussions that had come with them. But it had been worth it. They'd let Rinoa go, and to him, that was worth almost anything.

And yes, there might still be a problem here and there, but he wasn't thinking about those, as he stepped back into the Garden. Right now he was going to deal with the more immediate future.

Comments

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

Rinoa was hanging onto his arm, practically clinging on for dear life. Not just because she felt weak physically - although she did - but because she needed Squall for emotional support. It was a horrible thing to feel that there was only one person on your side in an entire city. And a worse thing to know that on some level you deserved it.

"It looks the same," she said, almost surprised. She'd half-expected the Garden to be wrecked, but the only real difference was the people: fewer students, more Alexandrian soldiers. Rinoa didn't know how many more hostile looks she could take. "Can we go to your room? Or somewhere private... Anywhere private."

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

People might have thought that she deserved it, at least. But to Squall, that couldn't have been farther from the truth. She was just the unfortunate person who had to bear the stigma of Ultimecia's attack - and it was entirely possible that there were at least a few people who were still on her side.

"Sure," he answered with a nod.

The fact that it looked the same as it had wasn't something he felt like bothering to answer just now. Most of the fighting had been done elsewhere, really, and all that had been left was to deal with the assorted mayhem that had come of their rescuers attempts to free them. Minor things, really, and certainly nothing that would wreck the Garden.

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

Once they reached Squall's room, Rinoa relaxed a little. She hadn't realised how anxious she had been. Her stomach had tied herself in knots.

She finally let go of Squall and moved over to stare out of the window. Her hand found her mother's ring and clutched tight. She took a deep breath. "Squall..." Her voice wobbled. Okay. Try again. "I guess you didn't expect all this when you signed up to be my knight."

It was a pretty feeble attempt at a joke, but Rinoa couldn't bear the tension in the room.

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

'When he'd signed up to be her knight.' It was an interesting turn of phrase, especially when compared to recent events. By all rights it should have been him standing as her knight, and not Seifer. Had it been Ultimecia who'd done that? Who'd suggested Seifer while he wasn't here? Or had Seifer offered himself to fill the role in the interim?

He wasn't sure he really wanted to hear the answer.

"I'm just glad she's gone."

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

It should have been Squall, of course, and that preyed on Rinoa's mind too. She didn't know what Seifer's motives were. If he was being controlled too, then they had both been Ultimecia's puppets. But if he had gone along with her of his own accord...

"I'm glad too," she replied softly.

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

Another thing he'd have to ask Seifer, then. Not really something he was looking forward to, but it would need to be done at some point, and it might as well be him doing it.

"Yeah."

It would make things less complicated in the long run.

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

"You're not saying much."

Which was normal for Squall, but Rinoa had a lot to say. She needed to get it all out. Taking a deep breath, she walked back over to him and wrapped her hands around his waist, burying her head against his chest.

"Squall," she mumbled. She looked up, leaning back a little so that she could gaze into his eyes. "I love you, you know that, right? And I'm so sorry... for everything." She shuddered. "Ultimecia, she... Can I tell you? She didn't just... grab me and use my body. I remember more than that now. I've been so awful, Squall. I've been fighting a losing battle with her for months, until I just... snapped."

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

For months? Ultimecia had been here for months and they hadn't even noticed? Could all of this have been avoided if they'd only known?

"Why did you listen to her?" he asked. By the tone of his voice he was more curious than anything. Rinoa had to have known that Ultimecia wasn't going to be up to any good, so... why even bother listening? "And yeah, I know."

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

Maybe it could have. Squall wasn't the only one regretting it. They'd all been kept in the dark.

"Listen?" Rinoa shook her head. Even though his tone wasn't accusatory, it still upset her to hear that. "I didn't want to, I didn't... I don't know. She confused me. I was asleep... dreaming. It didn't feel real. I didn't remember any of that until it was too late... Until she came for me."

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

It didn't feel real? What hadn't felt real? Ultimecia? He hadn't been aware that she was able to speak to some through their dreams. It wasn't a welcome thought either, and he couldn't help but frown.

If she hadn't been able to remember, did that mean Ultimecia had guided her every action since he'd first arrived? Had it been Ultimecia welcoming him back? Ultimecia saying she loved him? No. He didn't want to think about that. Couldn't think about that, and he shook his head in an attempt to clear the image out of his head.

"It's over now. She can't bother us anymore."

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

Rinoa nodded, shuddering. "Yeah..." Maybe he didn't want to talk about it. It was over now, in the past, but neither of them could forget what had happened. "What about now?" she asked. "What about us?"

Meaning: Where did they go from here?

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

Squall would have liked to say that things would continue as they'd been before. But even if he'd said it, he wouldn't have believed it. Too much had been shaken up; too much trust had gone misplaced. He could blame Ultimecia, but that only really went so far.

"I... we'll figure something out."

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

"I trust you," said Rinoa softly.

What she didn't know was if she trusted herself. Or whether Squall felt that way too. Despite saving her from prison, he seemed distant. She hesitated for a moment, but Rinoa couldn't suppress her emotions. That was her problem now: she was mired in them. And vulnerable, but that was okay; she trusted Squall however vulnerable she was.

"Are we okay?" she asked, and instead of waiting for a reply, she leaned up to kiss him. That would give her an answer.

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

Even that simple of a question prompted a myriad of answers to bubble up in Squall's mind. He didn't know if things were going to be alright between them, and he wasn't at all certain he liked that sort of uncertainty. It made things more complicated than the needed to be.

None of them survived Rinoa leaning up to kiss him. Trust or not, he'd missed her and he leaned down to return the kiss.

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

His response reassured Rinoa far more than any of Squall's words could. She needed him at that moment more than she'd ever done before. She hugged him tightly as they kissed, almost desperate to show him the love she'd failed to show while under Ultimecia's spell.

Everything was so complicated. This at least didn't have to be.

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

Everything would probably continue to be complicated for a while. What had happened wasn't something that could simply be brushed under the metaphorical rug. But for now, he was perfectly willing to pretend that what had happened hadn't.

He'd missed her too much to do otherwise, and he finally took her up in his arms in return. He'd missed this, even if he might never actually admit it.

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

Rinoa sighed and buried her face into his chest. She didn't want anything else right now. Didn't want to have to face everybody again.

Squall would have to step away, because Rinoa wasn't going to.

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

Perhaps later. Right now, Squall was perfectly willing to let this moment simply... continue. It was a welcome respite from the chaos and pain and even though sooner or later he'd need to get back to his work it could wait.

For now, at least.

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

"I missed you," she murmured.

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

"Me too," he answered.

Understatement? Possibly. The truth? Most definitely.

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

A thought occurred to her, one that made her shake her head wryly. "I'm sorry for ruining your birthday too."

Maybe it was the least of the bad things that had happened, but Rinoa felt that she ought to apologise for every bit of it.

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

"It's alright."

He'd have more birthdays, and to be quite honest, he'd already almost forgotten that it had happened right around his birthday. Everything else that had happened had all but pushed the fact out of his mind.

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

Rinoa's arms were still wrapped around Squall and she bunched the leather of his jacket between her hands, leaning back a little to look up at him. "Is it? You're not mad at all? I want you to tell me how you feel, Squall. Otherwise I don't know what I can do."

This was probably the most rational thing she'd said to him since he came to let her out. She was breathing more evenly, calmer now.

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

"Of course I'm mad," Squall answered. He'd have had to have been well... mad not to. "Just not at you."

If he was mad at anyone, it was at Ultimecia, and himself for not noticing sooner. For not figuring something out. For not... doing something differently. Something that would have meant that none of this had happened.

"It wasn't your fault."

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

Rinoa sighed. It was good to hear that from Squall. It reassured her. But... "Not everyone thinks that."

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

"We'll work things out."

It make take time, but they had that now.

[livelyangel.livejournal.com]

She nodded. She trusted Squall to do it, if anyone could. "Yeah." She smiled, thinking how Squall always gave her hope. "I love you," she said again.

[knighted-lion.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. Me too."