[LOG ; semi-open] Of War, Politics, and Love.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Characters: Garnet, Zidane, semi-open to those on board the Invincible.
Progress: Ongoing
Summary: The evening of Vayne's assassination, Garnet needs to do some talking.
Location: Aboard the Invincible, En Route back to Lindblum
Date: The evening after the Heads of State meeting, and Vayne's Assassination.
Warnings: TBA

By the time Garnet had stopped shaking, stopped spouting half-formed utterances of disbelief, stopped feeling as though she were going to faint, several hours had passed, and the Invincible was en route back to Lindblum. Zidane had seen to her shattered psyche, and she only half remembered clinging to him, trembling like the last leaf on the tree. How long she had done so, before he'd removed them both from the prying eyes of strangers, she did not know. People had screamed, Rosa had fainted, and Cid had barked commands The only one really anything close to composed. Now, as the evening grew darker outside the windows of their airship cabin, the cries of Ashe's babe long ago quieted, the reality of the situation had begun to sink in for the Queen of Alexandria.

Vayne Solidor was dead.

Dead in the most brutal way possible. Worse, Garnet thought, than any of the atrocities she'd seen on any individual during Gaia's wars. She was never a front line soldier on a battlefield, and had been spared the sight of twisted, maimed figures. But she could not get the images of that afternoon out of her head. One moment, smiling, and she anticipated the disappointment she would have to deliver. The next moment, gone, in a display so vile, she'd nearly been sick.

And there she sat, outwardly calmed, but her mind in turmoil. Not a word had passed her lips since she'd stopped her horrified murmurs. In her hand, she cradled the Ring -- the one Vayne had given to her some months ago, and the one she'd been planning to give back to him when she gently as possible turned down his proposal. It was irrelevant now.

Closing her hand around the ring, she finally moved, setting it on the alien-designed table-top beside her chair.

Comments

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

Zidane had done the best he could, really, with trying to keep Garnet...stable? As she broke down throughout the day. He couldn't blame her really, Vayne had been her friend, even if Zidane hadn't liked him...but even if they hadn't been friends, seeing him just die like that would be hard on anyone.

So for a long time he had held her, until she'd stopped shaking and was just sitting, and then he'd left the room for a short while to tell the Regent that she had finally calmed down, though she probably wouldn't want visitors for a few hours. And when he'd come back and she was just...sitting there...he'd moved to sit on the edge of the strange window the room had, watching the water passing by beneath them.

It wasn't until he heard the faint sound of metal on wood that he turned to look at her, hauling himself up from the window. "Hey."

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Her hand still hovering over the tabletop, she looked up at the sound of his voice. Her eyes were still a bit unfocused, her face and posture draped in shadows of a time long since past, when her voice had abandoned her completely.

"Hey," she responded, quietly. A pause. "...It's real, isn't it? I didn't dream it, did I?"

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

Zidane didn't quite know what to say to that, so he just shook his head, moving quietly across the room and settling down on the couch next to her.

"No, sorry. You didn't dream it." He reached out to take her hovering hand lightly in his, giving it a squeeze.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Her hand in his, she returned his grasp. A good sign really. It meant she was coming out of whatever it was she'd been sunk so deep in the last few hours. Her gaze flickered from his hand, to his face, and then out the window. "...How long have we been in the air?" she asked; a benign question, just to get her mind and mouth working again.

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

"A few hours," he let his fingers curl through hers, trying to give her a solid foundation outside of...everything. "You were pretty out of it then. Ah...I found your extra change of clothes, did you want to change? It might help clear your head..." He'd thought about trying to get her to change when she was a basket case but had let the idea drop...the state she'd been in, he'd have had to help and she'd just be angry at him later.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Dagger looked at him in bewilderment. "Change? Why would I--"

And when she glanced down at herself, she froze. Her hand, and grip, grew tense, as her heart dropped into her stomach. The front of her was splattered in dark, dried patches; blood, unmistakably. Her free hand raised to cup over her mouth, and she paled.

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

Crap, okay, that was the wrong thing to suggest. "Hey, look at me," he reached out to catch her wrist that was covering her mouth, using it to turn her head so she wasn't looking at her clothes. "You don't have to change if you...don't think you can, alright? It was just an idea."

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Dagger shook her head, and swallowed thickly. She allowed his pull to guide her hand away from her lips. "No. No, I should change," she said, even as she made to rise from her seat. Now that she was aware, the idea was making her ill. That was his blood dried on her clothes, against her skin, and it was all in her mind again, the shots ringing out, the spray of red, the sickening sensation of her stomach turning over.

Her hand was the last thing to move away from Zidane, finally sliding from his grasp as she went for her bag, her change of clothes. "Turn away, please," she asked, fishing the clean clothing out of her suitcase -- she didn't want him to leave, didn't like the thought of being alone, but neither did she want him ogling her as she changed.

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

Zidane nodded when Dagger decided to change, watching as she pulled away...and then laughing softly at her command, spinning around on the couch and folding his legs in front of her, hands resting on his lap as he waited. And there wasn't even a convenient mirror to cheat from!

"You know, we're gonna get married so this is kind of silly..." He couldn't help but make the crack.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Dagger ignored the quip, her back turned to him as she focused on peeling off her soiled clothing, and replacing it with something clean. The bloodied garments found themselves in a heap, pushed to the corner, Dagger willing herself to forget them.

"When we're married, we can talk about it. For now, you'll just have to respect my wishes," she argued, finally, as she pulled her fresh blouse into place.

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

"When we're married, I hope we don't simply talk about it." Yes, he's trying to embarrass her a little. For one, he's Zidane and can't help it but...for the other, being annoyed at him will give her something else to worry about.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

It worked, to an extent. Her cheeks took on a rosy hue, and her face screwed up into something just a bit perturbed. Fully dressed now, she turned to face him again, hands on her hips. Despite his best attempts, she was not in the mood to play that game; she gave him a look that could have withered roses.

But after a moment, it softened. Her hands slid off her hips, and she strode forward to join him on the couch.

"I'm a terrible person," she said, quite plainly, as she sat down beside him, her gaze in her lap.

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

He was twisting back around as she turned...apparently this was not a new thing, as he pretty much knew exactly how long it took her to change. The fact that she was about to give him a lecture almost made him smile, simply because it was more...her...than all this.

But then it was gone, and she was saying...bwuh?

"What?" It's difficult to surprise Zidane so thoroughly that he can't actually make a witty comment. All she gets is that, and a wide-eyed, completely confused stare.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

"I'm a terrible person," she repeated, this time choking up a little. Guilt coursed through her, and she couldn't look Zidane in the face. Instead, she stared at the hem of her sleeves, her hands on her knees.

"Just a few hours ago, I watched one of my friends brutally murdered... and some part of me is relieved that I'll never need to be responsible for hurting his feelings." The way he'd smiled at her that moment before the shots rang out. He hadn't looked at her like that before.

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

"Oh," he doesn't really have a clue what to say to that. Part of him is relieved for much the same reason, really. Well, except that Vayne is out of the picture more...thoroughly. Which made him a complete ass, he supposed.

"That doesn't make you a terrible person, Dagger." He said, reaching out to take her hands in his. "We all have thoughts like that, it's just...being human." Or as human as he was, anyway.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Her gaze seemed glued to her hands, and where they went, her eyes followed. Dagger looked at her fingers, and his, and then turned her palms so that they might fit better in his grasp. Why did so many people who were important to her, get taken away?

Dagger's grip tightened as she drew closer to him, setting her cheek against his shoulder; a silent expression of gratitude. As guilty as she felt for this relief, she felt equally as guilty for what she had put Zidane through. She'd been unfair, putting him through that wait.

"...I know you didn't like him... But he didn't deserve this."

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

When she moved closer, Zidane let one of his hands tug away from hers to hook around her waist lightly, making sure she had room to settle against him if she wanted to. It was a familiar pose, really, though before it had been for happier things.

"He wasn't...so bad," okay, so, Zidane thought he was a slimy opportunist who was trying to steal his girl, but still. Nobody deserved that.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

She almost smiled. Almost. But that fleeting expression soured, and she fixed her gaze on a spot on the wall.

"You know... it seems like he and Larsa were the only ones in that whole assembly who listened to a word I had to say." her words were bitter, her former irritation heightened now by the loss of one of the few who ever gave her any due respect.

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

"That's not true. You know the Regent always listens to you. And I was listening," he gave her a bit of a grin.

"Besides, it seemed like a lot of them had their own...issues. They weren't really listening to anybody but themselves."

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Dagger sighed heavily, unable to wipe the frown from her face. "I know Uncle Cid listens, but he has his hands full juggling everything. And this isn't the first time it'd been like that! It was that way last time, too, and the time before that. Our numbers grow, but I'm beginning to feel as though the interest of Gaia's people means nothing to them."

For all her refinery, her kindness and generosity, Garnet til Alexandros was a protective, possessive queen. Alexandria was her home, her responsibility, and all of these in turn belonged to Gaia. She she belonged to Gaia, and as much as she wanted these displaced foreigners to be seen to, and made comfortable, the idea of them waltzing in an usurping everything they'd striven for in the past several years made her want to scream!

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

"Well, you know, the interest of Gaia's people probably doesn't mean anything to them," Zidane could see things in the...more selfish context that most people functioned in and people like Garnet and the Regent seemed to miss. "They probably want to go home, or baring that they probably want to get as much as they can for themselves if they are stuck here."

Was it something of a jaded outlook? Sure. But zidane was used to seeing that part of people. He could see good in them too, but overall he had to assume that if they were ignoring Gaia's leaders, they didn't particularly care for Gaia itself. "Next time just have a meeting with you and Cid and...who is running Burmecia now? And just tell the 'extra leaders' what you decided?"

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

"We can't just do that," Dagger argued, weakly. "Uncle Cid asked for their input, and even asked them to aid in the governance of the displaced towns and cities. They're just as much a part of the current political balance as we are, and if we sour relations with them by excluding them, it could lead to another war."

The idea was beyond upsetting; after what they'd all gone through just a few years back, the idea of countries mowing each other down, tearing themselves and each other apart was a frightening and all-too-real possibility. "I just wish they would listen to those who actually know the history of this world."

[tantalus-born.livejournal.com]

"You could do it. You think they don't have meetings without you? Meetings of just people from their own worlds?" Zidane didn't want to be pessimistic but he just...wasn't sure how much he trusted these people yet.

He ran his hand gently down her back, "look, don't worry about it tonight, alright? Just try to...relax." He suspected she wasn't going to get any sleep, but he did want her to. It had been a long day.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Garnet stared at Zidane incredulously. The insinuation that among their gathered lot, were betrayers, others quietly plotting their own ideas, was even worse than the clear and present clash of ego's at the meetings. At one time she might flat-out refused to believe such a thing, but in the course of one day, things had changed drastically. Vayne had done nothing but good for Gaia, and yet someone had seen fit to see his life ended; and there was no shortage of people in their ranks that had seemed none-to-fond of him for reasons she could not fathom.

"They couldn't-- surely they wouldn't! Our goal has always been for unity and peace in all the chaos. More any of them, Vayne was such an example to follow. This world was not his, and yet he stepped up to give leadership and order to those who needed it, did not slander anyone else, didn't..."

The anger flushed from her face, corners of her dried, pale lips falling into a frown of a different sort. She was still half-numb to the situation, had been completely disconnected since it had happened. But now, it was sinking in, registering in ways she hadn't allowed until that moment. She was reminded of her mother, grotesque and stained like a harpooned whale on the shores. It blurred in her mind, mixed with the sight of blood and tangled hair, the crumbled form of a broken man beside Larsa...

Tears crept into her eyes, and slowly rolled down her cheeks.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

At first, it may have seemed a hallucination. Up ahead, where the halls intersected, emerged a form draped in a white silk nightdress and lilac robe. Long hair unbound in cascading shadows, Garnet softly paced the hall. She was silent, a restless ghost in the corridors of the Invincible. Anyone with half a wit would have been asleep now, riding out the remaining hours on board the ship in blissful slumber. How any of them could sleep was beyond her.

But this walk was doing her no good. In times past, when she could not sleep well, she'd take to wandering the halls in Alexandria. Even in Lindblum's grand palace, a little walk usually did some good. On this particular night, however, it did nothing.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

In the silent halls, even a quiet voice was easily heard. Garnet lifted her gaze, reaching to brush stray shadow-wisps from her face. "Larsa..." a pause, and then a soft smile, lacking in any real joy. "You couldn't sleep either?"

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Garnet favored him with a sympathetic gaze; she knew too well how bad dreams, reoccurring ones, could quite easily rob one of many restful hours. Subconsciously, she pulled her robe together near her chest.

"My mind won't let me rest. There's too much that I can't stop thinking about." she did not need sleep to have the gruesome images of the day replayed before her eyes.

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Silently, she shook her head. "Not at all. I actually wouldn't mind a little company. Unless, you'd rather be alone, that is."

All he had to do was say the word, and she'd turn around, walk back to her cabin, try again likely in vain to get some sleep. But silently, she hoped that he would not turn her away. Certainly, he could use someone to talk to. Vayne was his brother after all...

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

"It'll be like that... for a while," said Garnet, her gaze drifting away as she turned her back to the wall. She remembered too well, the day her mother was killed. How it had felt, sitting beside her lifeless body, knowing she would never stir again. It was a profoundly different that simply knowing that you would never see someone again.

"but don't ever think that there is any way you 'should' or should not feel. And don't let anyone else try to tell you otherwise. Your feelings are yours, whatever they be."

[crowned-jewel.livejournal.com]

Pulling at the front of her robe, Garnet favored Larsa with a weary half-smile. "If you wouldn't mind my company, of course." She had already expressed her own desire for company, and she'd thought that hope would be in vain until just moments ago.

Half-leading, knowing the ins and outs of this ship more than she cared to think of, she moved down quietly down the hall, in step with the young emperor.

"...I..." she began, after some time had passed, her grip on the front of her robe tightening ever-so-slightly, "I still can't quite believe it."